Entering Rocke’s Wightman’s room in Cowichan Hospice House, you couldn’t miss his comfort items: a few bags of potato chips and a stack of history books.
“I really, really like history,” Rocke would say. “I think that’s our instinct, to pass on our knowledge. You get to a certain age, you want to tell your stories, you want to pass on your knowledge.”
At the end of his life, Rocke was doing just that. In particular, it was important to him to let others know what it was like to spend his last days in Hospice House.
Rocke experienced his stay in Hospice House from a broader perspective than some, having been a hospice volunteer himself for many years. Much of his volunteer experience was one-on-one in clients’ homes, but he also provided administrative support and talked over the phone to palliative patients in hospital.
Expressing his appreciation for the volunteers and nurses at Hospice House, Rocke shared, “You need empathy as well as compassion for this job. For people like myself who live alone, the big fear is being sick and alone. They don’t treat me like I’m sick. I am much more comfortable. The fear is gone. You allow yourself to rest.”
When asked about some of his favourite things, Rocke pointed to the books and chips, then mentioned something not in the room. “I love driving. My dad drove all over North America. My son Stuart drives whenever he can. I don’t know what it is about driving, or if it’s genetic, but it’s when I do my best thinking.” One more thing that brought him joy? “I love A&W hashbrowns.”
After Rocke died, his son Stuart drove from Kamloops to clean out his room and his house. “I decided to go for a 600km drive all around the island with my father’s things,” Stuart shared. “The clothes he wore, the hat he wore, his books. He wasn’t there, but he was there with me. I was talking to him. I drove through A&W twice on his behalf. Driving and A&W were the two constants between us. Most our visits involved driving. I guess I got it from him.”
